Parents buy 16-year-old daughter a new car for her birthday, give 19-year-old son a book and a gift card after refusing to help him buy a used car: 'They accused me of being jealous of my sister'

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    ONE VOCHA
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    AITA for how I reacted when my parents surprised my 16 year old little sister with a new car for her birthday after she finished her cancer treatment but bought me a $25 gift card and a book for mine which was just two weeks later?
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    My sister was diagnosed with with cancer last year. It has been hard on our family and even harder on her. I love my sister and I tried to be there for her as best as I could. I also did everything I could to make things easier for my parents. I took over all chores, cooked everyday, cleaned the house, did laundry, took care of my younger sibling and babysat them more.
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    Luckily she is doing really well and has recently finished her treatment which is great and we are all grateful. Our birthdays are two weeks apart and hers was two weeks ago. My parents bought her a new car to celebrate after everything she went through which I understand, she does deserve it but I was a bit surprised because I thought they didn't have any money. My dad has been unwilling to help me get a used car since last year telling me that they do not have the money.
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    I didn't even want him to pay for all of it, I have been saving up and just wanted them to help me with the rest but he kept telling me that they have no money for that. Well my birthday just rolled around and my parents bought me a book that I mentioned in passing and a $25 take out gift card to a place I like. I thanked them but they saw that I wasn't too thrilled and asked me what was wrong.
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    I told them that while I appreciate the gifts, I thought that they were finally going to help me with the remaining $800 for buying the used car seeing that they could now afford a new car for my sister. But that's when they accused me of being jealous of my sister who had just gone through something very traumatic and that I was trying to make everything about me and why couldn't just be happy for her. They said that at the end of the day I have a job and could just continue saving. Am I the ?
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    Jocelyn-1973 - 4 hr. ago INFO: how old are you and what did you get for your 16th birthday?
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    Alternative-Log-1576 OP 4 hr. ago I'm 19. I got new headphones.
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    Jocelyn-1973 - 4 hr. ago OMG I am so sorry for you. Was everything always about your sister before she became ill too? NTA.
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    midnightsunofabitch · 2 hr. ago · edited 2 hr. ago NTA but the parents certainly are. bought me a book that I mentioned in passing and a $25 take out gift card to a place I like. I thanked them but they saw that I wasn't too thrilled and asked me what was wrong. This was ducking INFURIATING.
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    Grand-Geologist-6288 · 2 hr. ago But maybe we should to consider two things: 1. The whole experience and the relief shook the parents, they thought they'd lose their daughter. It's not about the car, it's about two parents almost losing their daughter and almost their minds. At this moment, it's all about her, there's emotional exaggeration.
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    2. Idk which cancer she had, but ending the treatment might not be the end of the disease. Shaken by everything they went through, afraid of recurrence. I don't think OP is an AH, he's lived all the bad experience too, he was there for the whole family and he's being rational, he's not asking to be treated better, he's being fair. Just that maybe, they need more time to heal and to get back to normal.
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    midnightsunofabitch. 2 hr. ago I don't disagree with anything you said about the parents' mindset. But here's where they become the AHs for me. that's when they accused me of being jealous of my sister who had just gone through something very traumatic and that I was trying to make everything about me and why couldn't just be happy for her
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    Instead of explaining any of this to OP, or even addressing his feelings, they attacked him, called him jealous and accused him of trying to make HIS OWN BIRTHDAY all about himself. There's no excuse for that.
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    SeaPhilosopher3526. 2 hr. ago Also, do they not realize that the sister having cancer would be traumatic for him as well? They should think of helping with the car as a way to reduce his stress after his sister literally battling cancer and all the while it sounds like he took over completely for the parents ALL WHILE WORKING A JOB
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    . Arakarani 3 hr. ago edited 2 hr. ago but NTA. It's not jealousy to feel undervalued. I understand your sister has been through siblings of sick kids always seem to get lost in the panic.
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    It's entirely up to you, but if it were possible, I'd really talk to your parents about how this made you feel. You stepped up and took care of the household while never giving up on your sister. I think they're probably scared and I get that the diagnosis changed everyone's lives, but if they continue to paint this picture of you in their heads that you're resentful and jealous, that can so negatively impact your relationship with them in the future. ETA: advice
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    thatliledgyB 2 hr. ago What I want to know is, if OP took over all the chores, cooked did laundry, babysat younger siblings, etc what EXACTLY did the parents do?? Like maybe they both work full time, but it's still insane OP was able to take all of this on for them. Ungrateful ahh parents. NTA
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    Aggressive_Cup8452 - 4 hr. ago NtA. This would be the end of me helping out. Do your chores and move on. It's sad that your sister has to deal with cancer. But the gap between gifts is too much. And if you keep giving, your resentment will keep building.
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    Round_Butterfly2091 · 3 hr. ago I'd get more hours at work so you can save more for that car. If you can't babysit anymore, well too bad. You are just doing what they said, right? Also, I would study more in a quiet library or start volunteering in your community and so on. All those extra chores you have done to help out, nope. They can do them now that the treatments are over.
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    Prestigious-Act-4741 · 3 hr. ago Your parents really said, you are making your own birthday all about you? Ah yeah that's the point of birthdays. NTA but I would consider trying to talk to them again if they are normally reasonable people they might not have realised how it would look to you and be ashamed and embarrassed.
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    3littlepixies 4 hr. ago NTA. Your issue isn't with what your sister got. It's with the extremely lopsided behavior they're showing. This but I'm not sure they will change. Try to talk to your sister and be sure she understands your problem isn't with her, it's with your parents. Try to keep her on your team, you might need her as an ally later since your parents probably won't change.

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